


The Billion-Heirs' Club

by CaraMia



Series: The Billion-Heirs' Club [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:36:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4030360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaraMia/pseuds/CaraMia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne go to boarding school together. Tony makes Bruce a robot and is the worst father figure ever. Bruce ends up okay anyway. </p><p>Later on, they find Oliver Queen and think, "Not another one." </p><p>Basically, Tony and Bruce are friends, timelines are screwy, and sometimes people are sad. </p><p>Also, Tony really wants their club to have a t-shirt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Billion-Heirs' Club

**Author's Note:**

> Tony and Bruce are my BROTP. There's general spoilers for Batman, Iron Man, and the first Avengers movie - and I guess a little for Arrow's first season. Nothing catastrophic or anything.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Also if there are any mistakes.

Tony makes them t-shirts.

His says “Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist #1”

Bruce’s says “Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist #2”

And Oliver’s says “Baby Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.”

To his complete lack of surprise, the other two refuse to wear their shirts.

Honestly. Children these days. So disrespectful.

*

It sort of started when Tony was sent away to boarding school. Bruce came in a few years after him, young and so very angry. Tony was only aware of him in a peripheral sense, and only knew why he was there after spending a week at home for Thanksgiving, during which the only things his father said in his presence had to do with the Waynes’ tragic murder and what it was going to do to Wayne Enterprises stock prices. 

Tony was only at that school for a few more months before starting at MIT but he spent the remainder of his time sitting with the younger boy whenever he was alone. They never spoke much, but before he left, Tony wanted to have one decent conversation with the kid. 

He’d talked to his mom about it, or had tried. She’d blinked at him slowly, and said, “I didn’t know the Waynes’ child was at your school. You should befriend him, Anthony.”

Tony didn’t tell her that Bruce didn’t need friends. He needed scaffolding to keep from caving in on himself. 

But he’d sort of promised her and besides, he knew what it was like to feel you didn’t have a voice.

“Heya Brucie. I’m leaving for college in a week.” He held his hands up to stop whatever reply Bruce hadn’t been about to give. “I know, I know. So many thoughts, things to say. How brilliant I must be to be going so young, how much you’ll miss me… it’s okay to cry a little.” 

Bruce glowered. Tony had never seen an expression that warranted the word “glowered” until today. He decided to reserve the word exclusively for the young Wayne. 

(Not even Nick Fury at his worst could make Tony break that promise to himself.)

“Just because our fathers,” Bruce’s voice hitched slightly on the word, “met at some gala years ago —“

“What, no, gross. I just, I just wanted to say good bye. And give you this,” he pressed a slip of paper with his contact information on it into Bruce’s hand. “You can come visit. Or call the dorm. I refuse to buy a cell phone until they’re cooler. ALSO, can you take care of this for me? It’d be a pain in the ass to pack up and move, and I’d hate to just leave her for someone to find.”

He set a remote-control monster truck by Bruce, who squinted at it and then Tony suspiciously. 

“It’s got a little camera on it. And it says ‘Stark’s baby’ on the side.”

“What? Oops. Meant to add this,” he pulled out a sticker and slapped it haphazardly on the side, so that it now said ‘Wayne’s baby’. “Good as new! She’s my first crack at intelligent robotics. Well, my first successful crack at them. Mostly what she does is follow you around — but only you. She’s programmed to recognize certain people, thus the camera, and can carry up to 15 pounds. She has to charge every night, see, she’s got her chargers in the back, and runs a program called sad if you ignore her for 24 hours, which means she drives herself into a corner or a wall and keeps trying to go that way until you move her.” 

Tony waxed proudly poetic for several minutes before clapping Bruce on the shoulder and leaving him with an admonition to call sometime, “Or else I’ll have to call you! No one wants that.” 

Bruce sat with the little monster truck for some time, holding it carefully, before he picked off the name stickers. After the awful stickers were gone, he held the little truck up so that it’s camera could meet his eyes and told her solemnly, “That was a terrible name. I’m going to call you Penny.” The monster truck’s little wheels spun in agreement.

*

Pepper called Tony to her office. It was a very nice office. He was glad someone was getting use out of it, since when he’d been CEO he hadn’t been in the place very… wait. This wasn’t his old office.

“They gave you a nicer office than I had!” 

Pepper gave him a look. “Tony. You gave me this office. Remember the remodeling? ‘Pepper needs more windows, she doesn’t get enough sunlight, her freckles are fading’, etc. etc.” 

“Sounds like me,” he smiled, winningly of course, and plopped into the least uncomfortable chair Pepper kept in front of her desk. “What’s up, Miss Potts?”

“I was hoping you would explain why you bought your own t-shirt screen printer. Actually, I was hoping I could get you to promise not to make me anything. I don’t really care what you do with it.”

“Even if I make you a shirt that says ‘I’m with Stupid’ that has the Iron Man mask on it…? This totally could’ve been settled by email.”

The corner of her mouth twitched slightly. 

“There are some things I need to see your face for. Fine. Run all other designs intended for me by me or my assistant before printing them, please. Now sign these and go away.” 

Tony did. As he got to the door (it was massive and even had gold inlays in stunning patterns and designs, wow he spoiled Pepper), she said, “And do I want to know why you have a list of people whose inheritance or family business is worth more than 100 million dollars and whose parents have died mysteriously?”

“Keeping tabs on the competition?” He suggested, trying out the excuse carefully. “Gotta keep my richest and brattiest title?”

He could hear her sigh through the door, which was damned impressive.

*

Bruce had disappeared not long after Tony took over as CEO. Well, it might’ve been a while after. He’d been living in a constant alcohol haze for what felt like years and it took the news channels blasting the information and speculation for two days before it really penetrated his consciousness. He took a hot shower, drank three cups of coffee (one while still in the shower), and called Alfred. And learned about the trial. And heard about Rachel finding Bruce with a gun. Alfred already had people searching in places he had contacts (if Tony had been less soaked with alcohol he would’ve found that extremely intriguing. He’d spent many hours with Bruce making up increasingly badass backstories for the butler), and had a list of places for Tony to send feelers out into, if he would be so kind. 

“Yes, Alfred, anything,” he was writing the list in permanent marker on the closest clear surface, which happened to be a window. “Just let me know if there’s anything else I can do.”

There was a pause on the other end of the phone, which Tony interpreted as British politeness not being sure how to phrase a request. He waited. If he babbled too much on the phone, Alfred would just hang up, as Tony knew from experience. 

“There is one little thing. I hesitate to ask, since it’s not really vital, and in no way actually helps find Master Bruce, but. Well,” Alfred cleared his throat and sounded a little sheepish as he continued, “do you think you tell me how to reprogram Penny? She ran herself into a wall until her battery ran out and I can’t bring myself to charge her, since she’d just do it all over again, and it’s incredibly sad to not have her zipping around the place.”

“Penny?”

“Yes, the little monster truck you gave Bruce when you were in school together?”

He had kept it. It had been a stupid gift from a teenager who had wanted to watch over someone for once and Bruce had kept it and given it an actual name. God, what had he called it before? Stark’s baby. And then he’d named the next robot DUM-E. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow.” 

Penny got reprogramed to recognize both Alfred and Bruce, and was redesigned ever so slightly so she could go up stairs. Tony got many cups of tea, a chance to look through the photo albums of baby Bruce (adorable), and a very solid hug upon his arrival and his departure. If he clung to Alfred and took deep, shuddering breaths, neither mentioned it. 

*

“Hey Stark — some kid even smaller than you is here. You got some competition finally?”

The comment is thrown at Tony in the dorm, through his open door. Why was his door open? Ah. Right. Because nothing he did mattered. He returned to staring blankly at the ceiling, marking new constellations on the stupid stipple effect. 

“Mr. Stark?” The polite Britishness of the phrase made Tony’s eyebrows draw together slightly, but it wasn’t enough to engage his interest until a nearly familiar voice said, “Tony?” and little wheels whirred on the shitty dorm carpet and something bumped into the corner of his bed. He moved his eyes from constellation “car wreck”, which was immediately adjacent to “bottle of scotch”, and looked at the two people standing in his doorway. Huh.

“Taller.”

Bruce Wayne huffed slightly. Tony didn’t recognize the man next to him and didn’t care. The door closed and Tony didn’t think anything. He wondered if the slow ooze of his thoughts was how everyone else lived and if he’d be stuck there now too. Only 17 good years in. At least he’d managed… He’d managed something, hadn’t he? 

A body lay next to him, crowding the tiny dorm bed. There was just enough space that their shoulders didn’t touch. 

“I didn’t speak for a long time after my parents died. Sending me to school was a last ditch effort on Alfred’s part to wake me up. I slept and I ate but mostly I just stared at walls and out windows. I know all the cracks in one of the walls in the library. Even at school… it wasn’t great. Never really noticed what was going on, until one day you sat next to me. And the next day. And then you were gonna leave and it was so… and then you gave me a truck.”

Tony could imagine the fierce concentration on the younger boy’s face as he stared at the ceiling and tried to use the words he had lost for so long.

“And no one had seen me — and you — and I never said thank you. So I’m here for whatever you need.”

Tony didn’t have to reach very far for the words, as it turned out. They’d been sitting behind his teeth waiting for the chance to emerge ever since he’d heard the news.

“They found signs of sabotage. Little things. Very subtle. They’re not telling anyone in case it scares away the killer, but.”

The next second he was crushed in a hug and Tony took what felt like his first breath in a year.

*

“Bruce, darling, did your butler never tell you not to dress up as a giant bat and terrorize miscreants?”

“Oddly enough, he tells me that every day. Of course,” and Tony heard the steel in Bruce’s voice as he adopted what must be his terrify-the-shit-out-of-miscreants tone, “it’s a little late for that.”

“You know,” Tony said to JARVIS after hanging up, “I think I need to make a pitstop in Gotham on my way to Vegas.”

He brought Bruce a cake shaped like a bat with “Have fun punching people!” in icing, and got Alfred an assortment of different teas, for putting up with two angsty billion-heirs for so long.

Alfred accepted it gratefully and said, “At least I know you won’t be jumping off buildings and getting involved in crime stopping, Mr. Stark.”

(Whoops. Sorry about that, Alfred. Tony put a florist/confectioner on retainer to send a ridiculously extravagant apology gift any time Iron Man or Batman did something spectacularly idiotic on the news. Bruce did the same for Pepper.)

*

Afghanistan happens. Tony hears later that Pepper called Bruce. With Wayne Enterprises, Bruce Wayne, and Batman’s help, the US military got enough funding and information to find him, long after Obadiah had given up searching. Tony would write that off as too many griefs on Stane’s part, and a desire not to prolong useless hope, until he learned otherwise. 

He teased Pepper once (after another phone call with Bruce) that she was trading in her old, tortured boss for the newer, more angsty model. Unable to say the words _thank you for never giving up_ and _what did I do to deserve three such friends_ — Rhodey was right there, the faint, exhausted smile showing he understood the unspoken words. Bruce was on his way.

“Well,” she’d said, moving past him and brushing his shoulder on her way out, “contingencies are the most important part of any plan.” 

*

The press conference happens. Tony hears later that Bruce called Pepper the second they were live and told her, “He’s going to announce that he’s Iron Man.”

“Bruce?” (She’d had to stop calling him Mr. Wayne for security’s sake — too many reporters here would love to know that Tony Stark’s assistant got regular calls from Bruce Wayne.) “He’s got cards to stick to. I’m sure it’ll be —“

“I am Iron Man.”

Bruce’s laughter rings out over her muttered curse. 

*

Bruce and Tony are in the new Stark Tower in New York, discussing Bruce’s armor problems (can’t move his neck, can’t see very well, needs to be lighter — “so we’re back to figuring out mithril, right? Please say yes, Bruce”) when JARVIS interrupts.

“Sirs, I apologize for the intrusion, but I believe there may be something on the news of interest to you.”

 The news is live from Star City — Oliver Queen is walking out of a courthouse, having been declared un-dead (according to Tony, who giggles a bit into his scotch when Bruce smacks his arm and Pepper rolls her eyes) after a five year stint… somewhere. 

Pepper says it first.

“Bets on how long until we hear news of a masked vigilante of some sort in Star City?”

“No bet,” Bruce and Tony said at the same time. They grin and clink their glasses together.

"I know he doesn't quite fit the bill, since one of his parents is still alive and he has a little sister, but..."

"I agree. He moves differently now."

"'Moves differently'. Bruce, stop being creepy."

Their discussion turned to what Oliver Queen’s shtick would be — his motive they understood all too well. Pepper was leaning towards ninja. Tony was thinking werewolf, _obviously_. Bruce had just said “marksman” when Agent Coulson came in.

“Excuse me, Ms. Potts, can I borrow Mr. Stark? Director Fury sent me to discuss —“

“Oh, Avengers stuff?” This time it was Bruce and Pepper who spoke in unison. They grinned ruefully at each other. Pepper continued, “Not that either of us know anything about that. Um. At all.”

(Coulson went back to SHIELD and asked Fury what the possibility was that Tony Stark was in a polyamorous relationship with both Pepper Potts and Bruce Wayne. Fury kicked him out with a truly impressive number of curses: "I did not need that mental image, agent!") 

*

After the complete shitstorm that was the Battle for New York, Tony announced over shawarma that he had a call to make.

“Bruce — yes I’m alive thank you for asking. I wasn’t for a second, but I got scared back to life by, you’ll never guess, another _scary as fuck_ guy named Bruce! I’m starting a collection of scary Bruces, but don’t worry you’ll always be my favorite —“

Tony looked up at his new team (friends?), “He hung up on me.”

Natasha kicked him under the table and laughed. 

*

The Stark-Wayne-Queen event (SWQ for short, or QWS or WQS, depending on who you asked — Tony was offended that the other two put him last; honestly, no respect) was the event of the century. No question.

The Avengers put in an appearance as their lower profile alter egos — except for Thor and Steve, who were gorgeous blond mountains that were impossible to disguise. 

They were almost a side event though, compared to the combined playboy charm that was Tony Stark, Bruce Wayne, and Oliver Queen. They schmoozed their way around the room, flirting and teasing and drinking and wrangling more and more money out of the elite of the world to help rebuild New York. 

Hours later, a tense Oliver Queen was ushered into a room away from the crowds by a small woman with bright red hair, who winked at the room’s inhabitants before closing the door behind her.

Bruce Wayne was in an armchair, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on his knees. Tony was trying not to look like he was posing by the fireplace, which he was, in fact, doing. He noted that Oliver stayed by the door, hands clenched into fists at his side as he eyed them up. Bruce didn't offer him a seat, and Tony was taking his cues from Bruce in this meeting. Brash bumbling was all well and lots of fun but Bruce had said he recognized Oliver's stance and quick eyes as a reflection of himself when he'd gotten back from seven long years away. 

What a messed up bunch. 

"We're not here to threaten or out you."

If anything, these words made Oliver more tense. But he smiled, playing the charming playboy again. An unfortunate choice in a room with two men who had used that mask much longer than he had.

"Well that is a _relief_. Are you guys heading back to the party?"

"Look, kid," and Tony grinned as Oliver's eyes flashed with anger, "I'm a genius and incredibly rich. I got kidnapped and spent three months in a hole in the ground, came back, put on a suit, an awesome suit, and starting fixing the wrongs I'd done to this world through my negligence. Don't try to tell me you didn't come back from that place with a mission, not with a hooded vigilante jumping around and shooting up the incredibly rich and incredibly corrupt crowd you've got in Star City. With arrows."

"It's the arrows that really bug him," Bruce added, not moving an inch, "He was hoping for something more supernatural." 

"Everyone else can be explained with science," Tony said, a slight whine in his voice, "except Thor and Jane won't let me run experiments on him. Even the Spiderkid has scientific origins. It's boring." 

"Wow," and now Oliver's mocking smile was genuine. What a punk. "You guys are crazy." 

"Says the kid dressing up in a hoodie and shooting people with arrows," Tony grumbled. 

"We're not here to threaten or out you, or get in the way of your crusade. We're here to say that if you need help, you can call on us. We're all the same damn kind of crazy and sometimes that crazy needs more help than a bodyguard and a pretty blonde."

Before Oliver could respond to what sounded to Tony a lot like a threat, Natasha burst through the door. There was a complicated moment wherein Oliver tried to take her down (Tony supposed redheads bursting into rooms could conceivably be threatening, thought of the redheads he knew, and immediately supported Oliver's rather foolhardy decision) and ended up on the floor with her knee pressed against his throat. 

"Threat's coming," she said, as if she hadn't just taken down a man twice her size without breaking stride, "Coulson picked it up. I hope everyone already signed their checks. If you'd come with me, Mr. Wayne, we can leave the heroes to clean up the mess." 

"With pleasure, Miss Romanoff."

They were gone a second later. Tony handed Oliver the bag Natasha had brought in with her. 

"Seriously, kid. Even if you just need someone to talk to."

The villains of the day appeared to be terrorists? Mind controlled humans? Something obnoxious. Nothing the Avengers and SHIELD couldn't handle. Later, Steve and Thor would speculate excitedly about the SHIELD agent they'd seen taking down enemies with what Steve fondly called "extreme prejudice." Tony bravely resisted the urge to brag about Bruce. It was a close thing. And Natasha confided in him that Clint was inconsolable. No one would tell him who the other archer on the scene was.

"He was mad at first," Natasha told Pepper (which was basically like telling Tony, shut up, it totally counted), "but now he just wants a playmate." 

And the next time Oliver Queen was in New York, he visited the Avengers' Tower.

*

The t-shirt came in the mail a few days after the SWQ event. It was accompanied by a phone call that a very irritated Oliver Queen almost didn't answer.

"Really, Stark? Really."

"We're a club, we need t-shirts. I read that somewhere."

Thea came in just in time to see Oliver look up to ceiling in a clear plea for heavenly intervention. She was a little offended. That look was usually reserved for Oliver's interactions with her. She grinned when she saw the shirt that Oliver had abandoned on the table.

"Nice."

A week later, the paparazzi got a picture of Thea Queen wearing the shirt while out with her brother. The expression on Oliver's face was beautiful. Tony sent a copy of the picture to Bruce and Pepper in an email with the subject line: SEE?!??? and a P.S. I'm filing papers to adopt her.

Pepper's response: NO TONY 

Bruce called.


End file.
